Congratulations Graduate!

This is our baby. Our youngest. Our heart.

Today he graduates from high school.

Today, he closes the chapter of his youth and prepares for the next great adventure.

Today, he will bask in his determination, his passion, his success. 

Today, he claims ownership of his wild dreams, his lofty goals, his story. 

Today, he celebrates. Today, we celebrate.
Congratulations Noah. We are so proud of you!
We'll be front and center for the next chapter, cheering you on and supporting you every step.
You got this!!
Godspeed!

Love In All Seasons

When you're a child, Valentine's Day means decorating a shoe box to collect fun notes and cards and sweet treats from your classmates. There may even be a lunch exchange or a party. And whether you like all of your classmates, you'll bring enough Valentines to share with everyone in your class. It's an "equal opportunity" holiday.

When you're a teenager, Valentine's Day has a little more at stake. The girls hope they get some sort of acknowledgement from the boy they like and the boys just hope that the girl likes them back. The communication about "the liking" is typically carried out by the friends of the supposed "likee," probably through social media. It's a "socially conscious" holiday.

When you're a young adult, Valentine's Day is about over-analyzing the level of investment of your first serious mate. Your expectations are high and the pressure's on. Your gift needs to represent exactly how you feel for him or her without overshooting or underestimating, either of which could be deadly. It's a "make-it-or-break-it" holiday.

When you're a newlywed, Valentine's Day is about indulgence. Fancy dinners, elaborate gifts, extensive foreplay and lingering passion. You and your spouse are completely into each other and demonstrating your undying love is paramount. If it's IG-worthy, even better...you'll score major bonus points. It's a "more-is-better" holiday.

When you're a parent to babies or young children, Valentine's Day is about falling deeper in love. You never imagined your spouse could become more attractive, but seeing them love your little ones--changing a diaper, singing a lullaby, kissing a boo-boo, telling a bedtime story--fertilizes that deep-rooted emotion you have for the person you've chosen as your partner in all things. It's a "count-your-blessings" holiday.

When you're a parent to tweens and teens, Valentine's Day is about remembering the reason you fell in love in the first place. Life is less about your marriage and more about your all-consuming, completely-exhausting, totally thankless job of parenthood. Even though you're tired and the newlywed luster has faded while the business of life has settled in, it's more important than ever to sincerely demonstrate what a loving relationship looks like. Your children are watching and they need to see that the terms "unconditional" and "everlasting" are attainable and worthy of the work. It's a "put-your-money-where-your-mouth-is" holiday.

When you're an empty-nester, Valentine's Day is about a more refined level of indulgence than during your newlywed bliss. You enjoy life at a slower pace and have discovered a true understanding of what your lover wants and needs. On a daily basis, you act out your vows with more intention and promise than ever before. It's a "slow-and-steady" holiday.

So on this Valentine's Day, please take the opportunity to surround yourself with the people you care about, sharing your love and fostering relationships that will last throughout all the seasons of your life. In fact, the same goes for the other 364 days of the year. After all, there is no limit to love.

{J}

Happy New Year!! 2022...The Year Of Hope

GREAT NEWS!!

We completed the R&R and sent it off to the requesting agent. Please join us in sending good vibes and thoughts into the universe that our edits match the agent's vision, and she decides to partner with us on our journey to publication. 

For anyone still pursuing a dream, here's a beautiful poem to keep you inspired.

Never Let Go of Hope by Jancarl Campi

One day you will see that it all has finally come together.

What you have always wished for has finally come to be.

You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself, “How did I get through all of that?”

Just never let go of hope. Just never quit dreaming. And never let love depart from your life.

Wishing you the best of 2022.

Love, 

Jenn and Holly

Photo credit: Nick Fewings on Unsplash

R & R News

Hi friends,

Holly and I are super excited to be working on an R & R, and no, that's not "Rest and Rejuvenation." (We WISH!) It's a "Revise and Resubmit" request. It's common in the writing world for writers seeking representation from a literary agent. (And we're thrilled about the agent we're revising for!)

You know...it's another part of this thrilling, stretching, fulfilling, harrowing adventure we're on. But the great news is that The Vale is closer to the next step, and that my friends, will always be progress. Motivating progress. 

So you might have noticed we've been a little sluggish on the blog and social media lately but it's for a good cause. 

Following the dream friends. Making it happen. YOU can too!

Stay tuned and thanks for all the support. We're excited to share The Vale with you hopefully soooon!! 

xoxox ~ Jenn & Holly

(For a more detailed description, read this great post about R&R's from Writer's Digest.)

Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

Writing With Writer's Block

There are no truer words, right writers?

Anyone feeling particularly tortured right now? We hear you. We see you. We are SO with you.

That is all.

Keep creating. The world needs your stories.

{Jenn & Holly}

#writingcommunity #amwriting #evenwithwritersblock #keepitmessy 

Social Media Fasting

It was painful at first, like starting a new diet. I was perhaps a bit cranky. But it was necessary.

The Social Media Fast!

Have you ever tried giving up something that you didn't have a healthy relationship with? Well, that was Facebook and Instagram for me. It really started during fall of 2020, when the vast majority of my feed seemed to transform from cute kids, spunky pets, and funny memes to anger, frustration, and negativity over all-things-politics-and-pandemic.

I'm not saying that any of those BIG, complicated, intense emotions were unfounded, I felt them too, but when what's supposed to be relaxing scrolling time lost the relaxation bit, well, it took a toll.

Like with any addiction, and don't kid yourself, scrolling and trolling can be addicting, one has to first realize there's a problem. 

I admit, I found myself being sucked into watching how online arguments would unfold. I didn't dare participate, I just grabbed the proverbial popcorn and let the angst be my entertainment. It was gross. I felt gross. That's when I knew I needed to make a change.

So, on December 31, not as part of any grand New Year's resolution or anything, I decided I would take a little break. I thought I'd stay off through President Biden's inauguration - platforms seemed unusually nasty after the election on both sides of the spectrum. Just a few weeks. It wasn't going to be permanent.

But then something interesting happened: everything felt lighter. Happier. Simpler. 

By mid-January, I'd mostly gotten over missing it, I'd filled the time with some other fun distractions (mostly puzzles and writing) so the fast continued.

Please understand, this is not a judgment on anyone's use of social media. Nor is this a deep-dive into how social media impacts mental health. There are so many positives that can come from the various platforms, like getting blog posts out. :-) But for me, and perhaps for some of you out there, if you notice a negative impact, maybe a break is a good idea. 

If any part of this post tugs at a little part of your heart, here are some simple steps you can take:

• Check your usage on your phone. If you have an iPhone, you can see how much time you spend on each app by going to Settings - Screen Time - See All Activity - Week or Day.
• If you are surprised or shocked at how much time you spend scrolling, think about a reasonable limit. Then commit to it. 
• If you decide to just cut back, be selective with who and what you follow. Choosing where you engage and muting negative voices are things within your power. Use it.
• Maybe with the family or a group of friends, you can make a fun game out of cutting that time back. I highly recommend prizes. It's way more motivating to change a bad habit when you have incentives and a support system.   
• Replace scrolling time with something else you love. Phone dates with good friends, a fun house project, one-on-one time with someone special, a new hobby, reading, art, meditation, etc. 
• WARNING: Quitting cold turkey like I did may lead to withdrawal symptoms...seriously. But you know yourself and maybe a quick rip of the bandaid is the best way for you. Stay strong. 

If you decide you need to take a break from any unhealthy habit, social media included, don't be too hard on yourself. Life surely seems to be more complicated and nuanced and volatile lately, and the need for a little escape is real. My advice: choose your escape wisely.

Sending you love and peace and stamina, friends. 

{J} 

P.S. If you haven't already, go watch The Social Dilemma on Netflix. It's insightful. 

Photo by Inspa Makers on Unsplash

You're Only As Happy As Your Saddest Child

PARENTS!!! Could there be any truer words? No! 

I remember when a wise and gracious friend uttered this statement the first time and I didn't really grasp it. Because my kids were littles. Hers were emerging adults. But WOW, did I remember the sentiment the first time my daughter had a major friend break-up, the first time my son had a heart-break, and many times since.

It doesn't get easier. Moms of littles. Prepare your hearts.

So, how do we as moms and dads, steal our hearts to be strong for them? I haven't done it right every time, in fact, I've probably done it wrong more than not, but I'm here to offer some advice for when you find yourself in the midst of their sorrow. A pain that feels so much more because you can't fix it.

My first bit of advice is don't try to fix it. It's futile and it can ultimately put a wedge between you and your hurting child. Instead, try this:

Listen to whatever they wish to share. Try not to prompt or fill in the blanks too much. Sitting with them in their silence as they process and put words to the things they're experiencing helps them learn that skill, and reassures them that they were right to trust you. You are their safe place.

Acknowledge how hard, sad, stressful, (whatever adjective fits best here) the situation is. This is not the place to interject your personal experience, words of wisdom, advice, or really any other feedback than pure acknowledgment. Don't worry...if you have something helpful to offer, you'll get your chance. But this time is for them. Be patient.

Ask one simple question: "What can I do to support you right now?" And prepare for the answer(s) to be: 

• I don't know
• Nothing
• Get me food
• Give me a hug
• Sit with me
• Turn on _____ show
• Fix everything
• Some other request or any combination thereof

The important thing is to be there for them so they can figure out how to best help themselves. Resolving problems, having hard conversations, making amends, soothing heartbreaks, these are hard things that everyone must learn to navigate. And oftentimes, the fix isn't quick.

Which means, when we're invited into the moment by our child in need, no matter what the age, it takes time. This is hard on us because we want to fast-forward to all-better so we can be all-better too. 

Humans are wired to avoid suffering. So when you volunteer to be there for your hurting child, you also volunteer to wade with them through the hurt. (UGH!) Maybe a good way to reframe is this: you are sharing your child's burden. You are taking a small portion of the weight off their shoulders. You are helping them get to a place where they will find healing.

Until that time, when you're sitting in the work with them, feeling all their feels, you are only as happy as they are sad. Be steadfast friends. Be strong. It'll make a difference.

Hugs. 

{J}

Photo by Clément Falize on Unsplash