They Say You Get By With A Little Help From Your Friends...True??

Help! I'm just not sure how I'm going to manage the emotions of this year. Bella is a senior and will be leaving for college in about thirty-two seconds. Logan is a freshman and made the surf team, so SHARKS. And Noah will graduate eighth grade, which means his childhood is gone. GONE!!

So you may need to send a therapist. Or a priest. Or sugar. (How the hell could Cinnamon Productions leave me?!?!) Or vodka. Or all of the above. I'm really concerned for my sad, sorry self. And all those around me. But mostly me.

That is all.

(Please don't forget the vodka.)

{J}

Anniversary Checklist

Twenty-one years.
Three babies that somehow turned into teenagers.
One beach rental, one condo and two houses.
Two churches. Eight sacraments.
Two Bachelor's degrees; one Master's.
Two school districts; one City.
Four SUVs. Zero minivans.
Two sedans.
Four dogs; only Magic remains.
Four cats; only Columbus remains.
Three bunnies. Thumper's still hopping.
Three snakes. Snakey's still slithering.
Two turtles, both rescued and released.
Too many departed fish to count.
Thousands of books read.
Hundreds of movies viewed.
Innumerable games played.
Seven international vacations.
Dozens of camping trips and domestic adventures.
Thousands of beach days and park visits and play dates.
Block parties, birthday parties, amusement park visits.
Concerts, recitals, Taekwondo tournaments.
School plays, school fundraisers, talent shows.
Arguments, illnesses, bedrest.
A few curse words and several tears.
More apologies and unlimited forgiveness.
Thirteen photo albums and forty-seven pictures framed.
Countless memories with cherished family and friends.
Endless potential for blessings as this well-loved life unfolds.
Happy anniversary, my love.
{J}

It's All About Progress!

Just a quick update. Holly and I are still writing fantastic fiction together. We've had some GREAT feedback from our editor and beta readers. (Thank you...you know who you are.) What's next, you ask? We are actively seeking a literary agent. We are also working on book two people. BOOK TWO!!

It can take a long time to secure an agent and get published or it can be speedy quick. So if you have any extra prayers or positive vibes, please feel free to send them our way. We'd like the fast track but we'll totally settle for more patience and less nail-biting.

Thanks for all of your support. Happy sunshine, summer bliss to you and yours!

By the way, this meme was created at memegenerator.net. If you haven't been there, go. Now. GO! You're welcome.

{J}

Graduation News!

Our first college graduate!! We are so excited to share in her success and her bright future. Our sweet Elena...all grown up!

The story started in 2010 when our family was blessed beyond measure to meet Siyu Xu, or Elena, as she likes to be called. She was shy, sweet and new to the United States. Her home was thousands of miles away, in China, and she would call us her adopted American family from that day forward. In the years since she moved here, she has graduated high school and college, mastered English, learned to drive, traveled the states, lived on her own, and matured into a beautiful, sensitive, intelligent woman.

This year, Elena has earned a BA in Economics from UC Irvine and is taking time to study for the GRE and apply to graduate school. Her father, who has business in California (and all over the world), will also give her a chance to work and learn the family business. In the meantime, we're excited she'll have more free time to visit.

While Elena has had doors open because of her education in the United States, more importantly, she opened her heart to us and enriched our lives immensely. She is a more than a testimony to international exchange programs, she is part of our family, and we are so so proud of her. Congratulations, Elena!! We can't wait to see what the future has in store.

Love you!!

{J}

To PREP or not to PREP...That is the Question

When I was 17, I don't remember my parents or my school making a HUGE deal about preparing for and taking the college prep tests - ACT and SAT. I know, that was the "olden days" and the world has evolved, but does anyone else feel like the pressure is a little much? And I mean on us parents.

So Bella took a prep class. It was determined that the ACT was better designed for her success. She took a test and did OK and she has been studying for the next one...sort of. There are two things you should know right now: my 17 yo daughter does not like tests and she is a master procrastinator. In other words, she's a NORMAL teenager. But her mother, inundated with articles and posts about the frenzy and importance of these test scores, does not appreciate her carefree, lackadaisical approach. Bella argues that she is more than the sum of her grades and test scores and she will land exactly where she's intended to land. I argue that she still needs to invest some time in preparing for the next test because I said so. We're really in sync right now.

Teenagers can be hard to be around. And sometimes, it seems they're impossible to parent, at least in my house. But I think she may be a little right. (Don't tell her I said so.) So instead of hounding her all summer about test prep, this is my new attitude: "Why should I care more about your future than you do?" I've decided to withhold my wisdom-nagging and let other wise people do the work. Like Gandhi. Remember that magic book I talked about in this post? It's my new best friend. I don't use my words anymore, I just leave her messages from the universe. In her room...her bathroom drawer...her wallet...on her phone. It's AWESOME! And I don't have to be there to witness her eye-roll. WIN-WIN!

Feel free to employ this tactic with your own parenting challenges. You can purchase this treasure trove of inspiration here. It's the best $5.48 you'll spend EVER! You're welcome.

{J}

Lessons From A Middle School Graduate (Well, His Mom)

First of all, you should know right now that my 8th grade-graduate, 5'10", so-confident-he-rocked-a-mullet-for-a-whole-week son would disown me if he knew he was the inspiration behind this blog post, but sometimes we need to enter the blogosphere where worries and fears, phases and stages are pondered, if nothing more than to let someone else know they're not alone. So this post is brought to you for the greater good.

Today, my son completed middle school. He has been immensely blessed to have his dad at school and a network of really great people in his life during these sometimes tough years. And he been really lucky to learn some good/hard life lessons. Like, when he said something about a friend behind his back and the friend called him out on it, he had to own it and make amends. And guess what, that person forgave my son and he learned about how jealousy can make you act like the worst version of yourself. (Even grown ups can relate, right?)

There was also the first crush and break-up on Valentine's Day. (My heart still aches for him even years later; I may even imagine giving stink-eye to the heart-breaker if I ever passed her on the street. Kidding not kidding.) But eventually, after lots of painful pacing and head-shaking, he TALKED to us about it and discovered that letting something out is the only way to let the healing in.

Here are some other things he learned over these three, very important, very impactful years:

When you don't read the book and just read the spark notes, you don't know enough = Half-assing your way through life won't lead to success.

When you commit to a group project and your partner doesn't do his/her part, your grade will suffer = Pick wisely. Also, be a good partner.

When you hear someone talk about wanting to end the pain, you aren't supposed to keep THAT secret = Listening and acting saves lives and saves you from lifelong regret.

When you put something out on social media and you instantly regret it, tough S@#! = Think before you post. Always. Life is full of consequences.

When you're with friends and someone decides to do something dumb, you don't have to do that dumb thing too = You are NOT a victim. You make choices. And don't pressure someone to do that dumb thing if it's you're idea. But TRY not to do dumb things.

Feel free to use this example with your children in whichever way it will support your conversations about peer pressure, good choices, consequences of one's actions and crack! If your kids know my kids, please leave names out. I don't know what I'd do if my children made me stop writing about them...they provide the BEST material.

{J}

80's Baby!!

The 80's. My era of tunes. Something magical happens when Cyndi Lauper or Prince plays on the radio and it's oh so powerful. The other day, I had the kids in the car and it was my turn to pick the playlist. Noah cued up an 80's station on Apple Music (if you don't have this, go get it NOW. $15 for the whole family to have ALL THE TUNES they desire.) Anyway, we drove along and listened to a few of my favorites:

"Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" - Wham

"Let's Go Crazy" - Prince

"Dancing With Myself" - Billy Idol

My kids were really impressed that I knew EVERY word, and could keep rhythm whilst expertly singing AND snapping!! And even more, they LOVED the carefree mom that came out for a little fun. (Friends, maybe I'm crankier than usual lately, but teenagers are HARD to live with sometimes.)

In all seriousness though, it was really rejuvenating to sing and move and connect with that part of my youth, a time when things were nice and easy, and my BFF and I spent the better part of our summers playing songs over and over on the boom box, trying to decipher the lyrics and put them to memory. Those were the days when you had to work for your music acumen. No Shazam or Google to help us out.

As we continued the drive and each of the kids got to pick their favorites too, cuz music is meant to be shared, and LOUDLY if you're with teens. Guess what? The happiness was contagious. So I got to thinking, I should to play more music in the house...it could help ALL our moods. Maybe I shouldn't always throw earbuds at my kids when they start blaring their music. An open mind is an evolved one, right?

And did you know that music has been found to be good for your health? Some doctors have shown that it even has medicinal benefits. Researchers say that music increases the amount of the mood-enhancing chemical-dopamine-produced in the brain, so it can counter depression. Music has also been proven to reduce pain in patients, alleviate symptoms of stress and anxiety disorders, and even aid in memory recall for patients with dementia and Alzheimer's.

You guys, MUSIC ROCKS!!

The late, beloved Billy Idol was ahead of his time when he said, "I think music in itself is healing. It's an explosive expression of humanity. It's something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we're from, everyone loves music." He was so very right.

So, the Hales have decided to bring the music back and let the good times roll. When the kids get home from school, when we're cooking dinner, when we're doing chores, even sitting down with homework, tunes will be keeping us company, fueling and filling us up. And if a little dancing or snapping happens, all the better.

{J}

P.S. It wasn't until I wrote this post that I realized that all three of the artists I mentioned have passed away. I am proud that such influential musicians had an impact on my youth and I'll be sharing their music with my kids so the legacy can live on. You won't be forgotten, George, Prince and Billy.