Happy New Year!! 2022...The Year Of Hope

GREAT NEWS!!

We completed the R&R and sent it off to the requesting agent. Please join us in sending good vibes and thoughts into the universe that our edits match the agent's vision, and she decides to partner with us on our journey to publication. 

For anyone still pursuing a dream, here's a beautiful poem to keep you inspired.

Never Let Go of Hope by Jancarl Campi

One day you will see that it all has finally come together.

What you have always wished for has finally come to be.

You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself, “How did I get through all of that?”

Just never let go of hope. Just never quit dreaming. And never let love depart from your life.

Wishing you the best of 2022.

Love, 

Jenn and Holly

Photo credit: Nick Fewings on Unsplash

R & R News

Hi friends,

Holly and I are super excited to be working on an R & R, and no, that's not "Rest and Rejuvenation." (We WISH!) It's a "Revise and Resubmit" request. It's common in the writing world for writers seeking representation from a literary agent. (And we're thrilled about the agent we're revising for!)

You know...it's another part of this thrilling, stretching, fulfilling, harrowing adventure we're on. But the great news is that The Vale is closer to the next step, and that my friends, will always be progress. Motivating progress. 

So you might have noticed we've been a little sluggish on the blog and social media lately but it's for a good cause. 

Following the dream friends. Making it happen. YOU can too!

Stay tuned and thanks for all the support. We're excited to share The Vale with you hopefully soooon!! 

xoxox ~ Jenn & Holly

(For a more detailed description, read this great post about R&R's from Writer's Digest.)

Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

Deadlines: Motivating or Paralyzing?

A writer's desire is to have their words shared and appreciated by a broad audience. But there are LOTS of steps that lead up to that end. So when we met with FIVE great agents at our recent pitch conference, and EVERY ONE of them asked us to send them more, we were FREAKING OUT! (See all the CAPS here? Those represent the screams and yells and jumping-up-and-down that occurred with each request.)

After the adrenaline coursed through us and we sunk into the couch to assess the work to be done before actually sending our manuscript, we realized something that we'd forgotten since college: 

When you're faced with a deadline, if you want to have a chance at reaching your goal, you have no choice but to rise to the (stressful, terrifying, intense, exciting) occasion.

Have you ever been in the situation where a deadline did the opposite? Where you actually froze in the light of a looming pending project. Well, that almost happened. Because...the stakes were so high! So, we thought we would share the strategy that helped us get the job done.

Holly and Jenn present to you...The Four R's.

1. Relax: Remember the adrenaline? Well, it's a real thing that can change your body's/mind's ability to think rationally. So we took a lot of deep breaths, we cracked some cold La Croixes, and we just let our soaring hearts take their time finding their way back to steady rhythm. It took about thirty minutes.

2. Recap: Then we wrote some details down to make sure we didn't lose them. Which agents wanted the full manuscript? Which wanted a smaller sample? Where were we going to send our precious words to? What format was best? How about the text for the email? The one-sentence pitch? The comparable titles/authors? How much should we edit our query letter or synopsis? And most importantly, WHEN would we have it polished off and ready to go? We wrote all those things down and looked at the calendar. 

3. Relegate: We love lists, and we're good at them. Quite good. It's a Mom-Super-Power. The list became our roadmap, and included all the tasks we needed to complete to fully prepare for submission. Things like, should we capitalize King, Queen, Princess, Duke, etc. throughout the novel? Did we spell Elyssiun (and other unique names that spell-check wouldn't recognize) consistently? (The answer was NO. It was spelled five different ways - too many Ls, Ys, and Ss. Ha!) Don't forget to remove double spaces, fix formatting issues, check hyphens and ellipses, quotes and italics, then review it all again once it's converted to MS Word. The list went on. But once allthethings were written down, we assigned them and got to work. 

4. Realize: As in, put into action. It took six days of intense work, lots of calls/texts, too many cups of tea, late nights and early mornings, to finish polishing and prepping our manuscript. But by Friday, we hit SEND and watched our baby go off into the hands of qualified agents, all of whom we'd be honored to work with. 

And then we settled down to wait and pray for the right partner for The Vale. We will keep you posted.

But if you have a deadline, if the pressure of a pending project is a source of anxiety, we hope the Four R's can be a helpful tool for you.   

Happy Summer friends! 

#dontpanic #plan #keepitmessy #itisthebestoftimes

Photo by Katie Harp on Unsplash

#PITMAD Hash-out Session

CITY OF BONES+THRONE OF GLASS Heirs to opposing thrones (shhh-they don’t know yet), a regular girl and a regular guy question who they are and whether their crumbling world is worth fighting for or if they should just fight for each other. In the end, our modern-day princess and prince will find out you can’t always expect a happy ending. #PitMad #YA #F

Hidden in the Vale for 16 years, Emily has no idea who she really is. Loving John seems like her only purpose. When forced to take the throne of Avarica-her home, she needs to make a choice: her kingdom or her John, heir to her enemy realm. In the end, our princess and prince will learn you don’t always get a happy ending.

Emily and John have been hidden in another realm all their lives. So they have no idea that they’re really heirs to opposing thrones. That might mess up their relationship. 

Emily thinks her life is boring. Then the Shade happens. And John happens. And things aren’t boring anymore. But how did she not have a clue that she was different? Heiress to the throne of a foreign realm? Couldn’t things just go back to being boring again? #PitMad #YAFantasy 

John has met the girl of his dreams just as the world is falling apart. He has lost too much and when faced with losing her forever, nothing will stop him from rescuing her. Not even who she has become: his greatest foe - the Dark Queen. #PitMad #YAFantasy

What if happily ever after looked more like the end of the world? When Emily and John meet during an eclipse the earth moves, literally. In the midst of their whirlwind romance, Emily is kidnapped to the Dark Realm. John sets out to rescue her only to find he’s heir to the Throne of Light and Emily is his mortal enemy. #PitMad #YAFantasy

Emily thinks her life is boring. Until the Shade happens. And John happens. But she can’t believe what she finds out about herself: Heiress to the throne of a foreign realm? Will John join her or will the Realm Wars prove that happy endings are a big, fat lie? #PitMad #YAFantasy 

The Realm Wars have raged for eons but only now are they messing with John’s world. When the girl he’s falling for is kidnapped to Avarica, he’ll fight whoever he must to find her. Even when she becomes his greatest enemy: the Dark Queen. #PitMad #YA #F CITY OF BONES+THRONE OF GLASS

Find more #PITMAD info and join in the fun here!

Happy writing.

So Many Feelings

One of my favorite parts about taking Christmas down is going through all the cards one more time before wrapping them up for storage. Then, when I put them away, I go through one stack from a previous year. This year, with Bella on the verge of leaving for college, I won’t lie, I was a bit of a mess. So many cards from so many beautiful families that we’ve done life with. I’m feeling overwhelming gratitude for this community and I cherish the life we’ve been blessed with.

And see the Beacon Point Climbing Tree ornament in the picture? When a huge branch was cut from the tree at the end of our street - the tree that ALL the neighborhood kids grew up climbing - our sweet neighbor made these so we’d always have a piece of that priceless memory. (I’m bawling!! Aren’t you bawling?!?!)

So as we put a wrap on the crazy, busy, hectic, happy, beautiful and bountiful holiday season, I hope you can find a way to ignore the annoying mess and soak up the fleeting memories. Because all too soon, we tie them up with a ribbon and pack them away. ❤️

#feelingdeeplytoday #ALLtheemotions #letscommittolesscomplaining #lifeisreallygood #godbless2018

{J}

Summer Reading List/Book Review

As an introvert, I really enjoy being by myself. I love being around family and friends and getting out and trying new things, but how I fill up my soul and get back on track is by being ALONE. 
Sometimes (most of the time) that involves a book. Getting lost in the pages of a story and the lives of characters in another place and time makes my soul sing. I have a list of books to get through this summer and as I was looking at my library, I found a few other gems that I wanted to share in case, you're like me, and can't wait to find that perfect read. Here's our top ten:

1. Wool: Omnibus Edition (1-5) by Hugh Howey
This is an awesome sci-fi series about a post-apocalyptic United States and the people that live in it. Here is a little blurb on it from Amazon:

"In a ruined and toxic future, a community exists in a giant silo underground, hundreds of stories deep. There, men and women live in a society full of regulations they believe are meant to protect them. Sheriff Holston, who has unwaveringly upheld the silo’s rules for years, unexpectedly breaks the greatest taboo of all: He asks to go outside."

2. Discovery of Witches, Shadow of Night, and Book of Life (series) by Deborah Harkness
If you haven't started this series, now is the time! Book Of Life, the third and last book, is scheduled for release July 15th. Amazing writing and LOADS of historical fiction. Her tag line is...

"A reluctant witch. A 1500-year-old vampire. A mysterious manuscript known as Ashmole 782. The story begins with a discovery of witches..."

It's SO GOOD!!

3. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
Anything by Gillian Flynn would be a good read for the summer but I would suggest reading this before the movie comes out October 3rd. It looks like it will be a good one but the book is always better.

4. The Magicians and The Magician King by Lev Grossman (The Magician's Land being released August 5th)
As you might be able to tell from this list so far, I really like series! This is a good one. A magical reality story and coming-of-age tale about magic learned and practiced in the real world-where good and evil aren't black and white, and power comes at a terrible price. Good characters and a strong story, start reading now and you'll have the series done by the time school starts!

5. The Wicked We Have Done by Sarah Harian
This is a quick and easy read about a college student that goes to prison for murder and is put on trial in a test called the compass room, a futuristic psychological testing atmosphere. Similar to The Hunger Games, with more adult content. Not fantastic but a good read and also part of a series (the others have not been released yet).

6. The Giver by Lois Lowry
This is on its way to being a classic that our grandchildren may read in school. It is also being released on the big screen August 15th so try to read it before you see it!

7. What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty
I have just started this one and have had it on my list because I heard great things! Is anyone else reading it or have you read it already? I'd love to know what you think!

8. The Line by J.D. Horn
This is the next book on my list. It's also a series (shocker) about a family of witches in Savannah. I heard it is great historical fiction with all the paranormal aspects that I love. I'm excited to start it. Feedback please if you've already turned the pages!

9. One Broke Girl by Rhonda Helms
Honestly I don't remember why I have this book but after reading the synopsis on the back it sounds fun, romantic and easy...a good beach read. I like giving new authors a chance because, well, karma and all that! ;)

I'll let you know how it turns out.

10. The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt
I originally heard about this book after I read a review by Steven King. I love Stephen King. Then I found out that it won a Pulitzer Prize for fiction and figured I probably SHOULD read it. Everyone says it is amazing so I can't wait to find out what's in store.

I have several others that are waiting to be opened but I won't overwhelm you with choices. My sister could get through these in about a month, but for the rest of us "average" readers this list could keep us busy for awhile. I cannot wait to hear any and all comments and suggestions on other reads. Jenn and I will be starting a "To Be Read Soon" list and would love to add your favorites. Don't forget to leave a comment either here or on FaceBook. It could be like a mini book club! Happy reading everyone!

{H}

Embrace the Yield

Happy 2014 friends! I'm not sure about you but I feel like I'm still a week behind. I blame Thanksgiving. With just over three weeks between it and Christmas, I felt behind before I'd even left the gate. So anyway, I'm late with this post.

Like Holly, I had a tough time narrowing down my "one word" for 2014. My focused, intentional, motivating word, the word that would set the theme for the entire year. (That's a lot of pressure for one little word, don't you think?)

Maybe it was the recent lice infestation, or maybe it was turning 40, or maybe it was that I failed at my goal of fully organizing my house and garage over break, but by applying my 2013 perspective to the year ahead, I found this perfect word: YIELD.

There are many definitions for the word YIELD and I have identified those that appeal to my various states of being. You know how I like to have all my bases covered.

1) YIELD: To give oneself over without resistance or contention. In 2014, I will apply this version of yielding when I feel the urge to dig my heels in; when my way is (IMHO) the only way; when I really want to WIN. For example, when I'm arguing with my children and I can't hear my grown-up voice of reason over my stubbornness, I will take a deep breath and YIELD. Or when my lack of control makes my anxiety spike, like at the movie theaters (lice) and church (more lice) and when my kids want hugs (number one transmission of LICE), I will take a step back and YIELD. Life is worth living, regardless of my inability to shield my family from the harshness of it. YIELD is what I will do when I know in my heart that the battle isn't really worth the scars that will result from the fight.

2) YIELD: To bring forth as a result of cultivation. No, I'm not speaking of farming, nor am I a skilled gardener, but I can weave a slew of words into a blog post or a newspaper article or a novel, and in 2014, I will strive to make my words count. In my writing life, I will focus on clean edits, meaningful sentences and compelling messages. And at writing conferences (our first is in two weeks), I will work on cultivating connections with other writers and industry professionals.

Hopefully 2014 will be the YEAR of the AGENT! We are actively seeking a literary agent to partner with us and bring our books to publication. Additionally, I will make my words count with my family and friends. Teaching lessons, giving praise, being kind, offering support and actively loving the people I am so blessed to know. In word and in deed, I will YIELD, foster and maintain meaningful relationships.

3) YIELD: To give place or precedence/acknowledge the superiority of someone else. This one is two-fold. Personally, I want to give precedence to my husband and children. I want to offer up my time and attention, not just when it's convenient for me, but when they neeeeeeed me. Like showing me a Minecraft world, or playing ping pong, or talking about friends, or taking a drive. Simply reconnecting.

In 2014, I will "give them place" above things that may otherwise demand my attention. When possible, I will YIELD to my family members and acknowledge their needs before mine. That doesn't mean I don't matter in this equation, it means I recognize that my husband and kids do. In fact, in cultivating a system of serving each other we all learn that in giving we receive. And here's part two of this one: In my faith, I will actively acknowledge the superiority of my God, the one whose grace is undeniable, whose blessings are immeasurable and whose love is unyielding.

YIELD. Such a small word with such great potential. Have you found a word that will fit your goals and needs for 2014? We'd love to hear about it. Here's to health, happiness, growth, perspective, friends, family and YOU! Happy New Year!

{J}

Pinterest...How I Love Thee!

Oh Pinterest! I can't get enough of your wonderful ideas! Is there even one bad thing about you? I have planned several vacations to places I've never heard of, put together the perfect home and the perfect outfit, and have lived vicariously through those of you that have put on the greatest Summer BBQ (complete with homemade napkin rings and...a circus tent?). I know that as I spend time gazing at all the lovely things, I am gaining so much knowledge in my time-wasting that it can only be for the betterment of my family. Otherwise they may have never known about "Taco's in a Muffin Tin", that Zu Besuch von Schloss Neuschwanstein was a place we really should visit someday, AND
that there were so many ways to arrange living room furniture (it's a sickness people).

Pinterest is eye candy and inspiration all in a perfect package! Although MOST of the pictures we see are really quite remarkable, there are those few that make you do a double take. For instance, tattoo pictures (hmmm...), photoshopped pictures of baby faces on animal bodies or vice versa (just weird), and the urinal Halloween costume...well, its' creative...

I prefer to use it as a place to store all the things I like, what makes me laugh and what I hope to have, do, make, or to visit someday.

There can be a downside. The one-upping mentality. The knowing my pictures will never quite look the same. The knowing that I will never be able to live up to the "Super-Room Mom" craft ideas for my kids' teachers. The insecurity that creeps in if I look too long.

Oh well. I think I can be OK with that. The pictures are pretty and can be so inspiring, sometimes a 10 minute break in the day to "look and see" is all I need.

With Mother's Day right around the corner, if you are still looking for that gift that will bring tears to her eyes (in a good way) here are some great ones we found...


thumbprint necklace,


if your mom is a baker...


a good use of chalkboard paint...


cute wrapping using washi tape and twine.

And you can find more of our favorites on our Pinterest Boards with the links! What are some of your favorite Pinterest Pics?

{H}

Throne of Grace; Making Much of Little

Jenn and I would love to introduce you to our guest blogger today, Molly, from Throne of Grace! We first introduced this fabulous website a few weeks ago (you can read about that here). Her blog is an inspiration and a perfect example of how using our talents can help spread joy in ways that we can't even imagine!

Welcome Molly!

My name is Molly. I’m a blessed wife of nearly-twelve years, an exhausted mother of two darling toe-heads, and the founder of Throne of Grace. As a ministry-minded business, Throne of Grace seeks to equip others to live and leave a legacy of prayer. Along with a team of fantastic women much craftier than myself, I make and sell handmade sets of prayer books to help you pray through God’s Word, Bible verse memorization cards, prayer journals, and more. We also share a little space in the blogosphere on the Throne of Grace website HERE, where we share devotions, craft tutorials, recipes, and thoughts on marriage and parenting.

I first met Holly when she moved in across the street and we were both pregnant with our daughters. They were born 13 days apart! Soon after, we got to be a part of a neighborhood Bible study together and we shared in the challenges of adding a newborn to an already-busy family. At the time, Holly and Mike were also going through some big challenges with Mike’s job and I so admired the faithful way they navigated through those rough waters. It was such a blessing to watch them lean on the Lord through it all! That was five years ago and now I am excited to see how God is using Holly’s new blog as an avenue for sharing her faith and wisdom – and I’m honored she has asked me to guest-post today!

As a blogger myself, I’m always trying to determine the words God would have me share. So I love it when He hammers home the same message through multiple avenues. It leaves little room for doubt or confusion over His intended revelation!

This past week, God has been showing me over and over again how He specializes in making much of little. In fact, He is a Master of Multiplication!

The examples in Scripture are too numerous to count.

Do you remember the loaves and the fishes? In John 6, Jesus takes the lunch of a young boy – just 5 small barley loaves and 2 small fish – and uses it to feed more than five thousand…with 12 basketfuls of food left over!

By God’s power, Elisha was able to perform a similar miracle when he allowed the widow’s small amount of oil to fill jar after jar until there were no jars left! (2 Kings 4:1-7)

It’s not just our material goods that are subject to the Lord’s multiplication. Think about the Bible characters who gave their “little” and were used by God to do great things…Moses, who was slow of speech, was chosen as God’s spokesperson to the Israelites. (Exodus 4:10-12) David, a young shepherd, slays the giant. (1 Samuel 17) Joseph went from rags to riches, from despised brother and imprisoned slave to 2nd in command over Egypt. (Genesis 37; Genesis 41:41-43)

Holly and I had the joy of seeing God’s math at work this past weekend as nearly 60 of us gathered to assemble Blessing Bags.

We stuffed extra-large Ziploc bags with fleece blankets, cozy socks, water bottles, toiletries, a Bible and Bible tract, non-perishable food items, and more – then sealed them with a lot of love! The Blessing Bags are designed to be kept in the trunk of our car, ready to hand out at a moment’s notice to anyone in need.

The story behind these bags is a classic example of God’s ability to make much of little. Blessing Bags began as a little idea that my family had as a way to keep our focus on the giving rather than the receiving during the Christmas season. We wanted a way to resist the ever-increasing temptations of Christmas-excess and keep Christ at the center of our holidays. So as a family, we began to consider some ideas to help us experience sacrificial giving and we settled on “Project Blessing Bags”.

Figuring that filling the bags would be more cost-efficient if we purchased the essentials in bulk, we decided to invite our friends and family to join us in the endeavor. Within hours of sending out our initial email we had more than 40 bags ordered and people asking to post information about the project on their Facebook pages and blogs. Within the first week, God had given us willing partners ready to distribute bags in low socio-economic areas of Orange County, skid row in Los Angeles, and even the hardest hit areas in Hurricane Sandy’s path of devastation! His plan was much bigger than ours!

Over the course of the month of December, more than 40 families pooled over $2,800 to fund the creation of 150 Blessing Bags, including the cash to ship 20 bags back east to Hurricane Sandy victims!

No one person funded this project.

Each contributed their “little” – for some that was money, for some, time, some donated supplies, and some will distribute. But, wow! Look how “much” God was able to do with each family’s offering!

As I said, God has spoken this message of faith – of believing He can make much of little – in many areas of my life lately. I’ve even been convicted in my prayer life!I have a friend who has been battling an impossible situation for years. From a human standpoint, there seems to be no hope. Though I pray for her regularly, it has been easy for me to minimize the importance of my prayers. After all, I’m one person and how much can one person’s prayers do?

And then God reminded me of Abraham. In Genesis 18:16-33, the Lord makes a personal visit to Abraham to let him in on a little secret – He is about to enact His judgment upon the immorality of Sodom and Gomorrah. It just so happens that Abraham’s favorite nephew and his family are residents of Sodom. So Abraham makes a plea for mercy and asks the Lord to spare the righteous living among the ungodly. Through the exchange between “little” Abraham and the Almighty God, the Lord agrees to spare the city if ten righteous people can be found. In the end, though there were not even ten righteous in Sodom, God listened to the heart of Abraham and mercifully saved his nephew and family. God made much of one man’s prayer!

I’m definitely feeling a renewed sense of passion and commitment to interceding on behalf of my hurting friend! Have you ever felt powerless or ineffective? Maybe you are even paralyzed from moving forward in an area of your life because you feel your “little” just isn’t enough? Be encouraged! God is in the business of making much of your little.

“For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength…But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him.” (1 Corinthians 1:25, 27-29 NIV)

If you have a good story of how God did some multiplication in your life, or if today’s post has offered the encouragement you need to move out in faith, we’d love to hear from you!

{Molly}

Those Young Moms

Stephanie (& Taylor!)

Hello! I’m Stephanie from the blog, Those Young Moms. I am currently a student at the University of Oregon, and mother to my almost two-year-old daughter, Taylor. I’m also a coffee-loving vegetarian with a sarcastic sense of humor, but I hold an even better title as Holly’s youngest sister. When Holly approached me to write a guest post for her new blog, I was thrilled! The blogging world is such an amazing tool to connect world-wide with people with similar situations, mindsets, and goals and I am especially excited that she’s joining in on the fun! I co-operate Those Young Moms with my best friend, Franki Arnold and we both feel that our blog has been one of the most important additions to our parenting lives.

The saying “it takes a village to raise a child” has always meant a lot to Franki and I. Both being young mothers, we were eager to read and know as much about pregnancy, childbirth, and mothering as we could before we gave birth to our girls. Mom blogs, online forums, and parenting sites proved to be an indispensable source of information for us as well as that extra support we needed during our transitional time into full-on motherhood. We bookmarked, shared, and copy-pasted our way into forming ideas about crafts, recipes, parenting skills, and general advice. The internet opened doors to a side of parenting that we wouldn’t have otherwise thought of. Not only did we use the internet for tips and tricks, but we used it to build a genuine lifelong friendship.

When we were younger, Franki and I went to the same high school. The strange part was that we were barely acquaintances — we knew of each other, were even on the cheerleading squad together, but we didn’t talk. Fast forward years later, Franki had moved back to Canada, I was living in Orange County, and somehow we became friends on Facebook. When I became unexpectedly pregnant in 2010, I was in need of support and the amount of friends I had that had gone through something similar, was slim to none. I turned to Facebook where I had seen Franki’s posts about her daughter (Franki became unexpectedly pregnant in 2007 at 21) and asked for resources and emotional guidance. Since then, we have grown to be close friends (the first time we met-up in person, I was a bridesmaid in her wedding!), and the bond is still strong as our girls are growing up. This is something I love about motherhood and parenthood. It brings people together over this common bond we have: sinking and swimming through raising our children.

As we were sifting through websites, resources, and blogs, we realized that many of them were not directed towards mothers in their early 20′s (especially young single mothers), so we wanted to start one that gives a twenty-something perspective. We’re young, but we have opinions. We have our own experiences; we just met our children a bit earlier than others. In addition, our constant bookmarking, copy/pasting, and sharing of tips we found over the web and in our own lives guided us to make a one-stop-shop for parenting help.

Our blog contains recipes, lifestyle tips, products, DIY tips, craft ideas, personal stories, and a plethora of links to help in almost every situation. Personally, one of my main goals in creating the blog was to be a voice for other young single mothers; to show that we are capable, strong, and can achieve what we set to achieve. I wanted to share my budget-friendly ideas for toys, crafting, healthy and easy recipes, and engaging activities as well as share my personal story’s ups and downs.

We are two young moms, on two different paths, taking motherhood one healthy-earthy-chic-and funny step at a time! Hope to you connect with you soon!

Choose Joy

I'm Emmy, I'm 35, and I'm infertile.

Wait, let me back up.  I'm Emmy.  Holly and Jenn have been so sweet to allow me to invade their space for the day.  I own Much Ado About You {where I used to sell printed day planners, and now I just sell printables}, I occasionally blog {Confesstions of a Paper Freak}, and I incessantly Instagram {@itsjustemmy}.  I am married to my high school sweetheart and as of this year we have been together for more than half our lives.

Almost 11 years ago I got pregnant for the first time.  Nathan and I were so excited, and immediately started planning that child's future.  We were thinking of names... wondering if it would be a boy or a girl... hoping its due date of December 26th would not mean we were going to have a Christmas baby.

But just a few days later I started bleeding heavily, and knew in an instant that that baby was gone.

We had only just begun trying to get pregnant, but I had so many friends experiencing infertility and I begged God to spare us from that roller coaster.

Our doctor told us that since we were so early in the pregnancy I would not need a D & C, and that technically I could get pregnant as soon as my next cycle.

Which I did.

That pregnancy was such a relief, and I vividly remember thanking God that I was never going to have to walk that long and painful road of infertility.

A year after Beau was born we decided to start trying for a second baby.  We wanted four, so we thought we'd better get going!

God had different plans for our family. 

The next six years were spent going from one doctor's appointment to the next... from one surgery to the next... all in an effort to figure out why my young and seemingly healthy body was not working.

I have Endometriosis, a condition that basically destroys your body from the inside out.  During my final surgery my doctor made the painful decision to remove both of my non-functioning fallopian tubes, hoping it would increase the chance of my third and final IVF {invitro-fertilization} treatment being successful.

The next month we had our final IVF procedure.  It failed.  We were done.

We were physically {well mostly me on that one}, emotionally, and financially spent.  The chance of a natural pregnancy was eliminated with the removal of my tubes.  I was officially STERILE.  It is still strange to say those words.  I am a woman that cannot do what I was created to do... bear children.  That is a very strange reality to be faced with.

I spent seven dark years in the thick of my infertility {I say "my" infertility because the issues were mine... with another woman my husband could have had more children... more salt in the wounds}.  For some of those years Nathan and I were not on the same page.  He didn't understand my desperation for a child when I already was a mom.  Those years I struggled with a deep loneliness that I had never known.  It is so hard to explain what infertility feels like to someone that has never experienced it, but the bottom line is... IT SUCKS.

However, God also used those seven years to challenge my character and bring me to a place of total trust and reliance on His plan for my life.  I came to a point where I had to say, "God, I love you and I trust you, and I know that {while very different from mine} Your plan is the best plan for my life.  So even if I never have another baby I will praise you and be thankful for whatever it is that you call me to do."

And I really was at peace.  Without tubes I no longer had to live in two week cycles, wondering if each late period was the one.  I had an incredible eight year old that was the joy of my life, a loving, supportive husband, a thriving business... life was good.

Now since I have already babbled on for quite some time {and probably lost most of you} I will leave this next part of the story short and sweet {if you would like to read the whole story, you can find it here}.  Through miraculous circumstances, in March of 2011 we brought home the most beautiful baby girl that looks nothing like us.

And in the instant that I met her I understood every no that God had placed in my path. 

If you are in a season of not understanding the circumstances of your life, please be encouraged that someday you may understand and even appreciate the painful path that you are walking. 

Since experiencing infertility and adoption I have a heart for encouraging hurting women.  Several months ago I felt a calling on my life to do something to help other women that are experiencing similar trials, and the Choose Joy event was born.

Choose Joy is a one-day conference in Southern California for women and couples that are experiencing infertility and/or desire to grow their families through adoption.  I have somehow convinced several other women from all over the country to come and be a part of this event.  We have speakers on topics such as "God's Heart for the Hurting; Waiting Hurts, Waiting Perfects", "Having a Heart of Hope: Overcoming the Hurt of Infertility", "The Good, the Bad, and The Ugly of International Adoption", and much, much more.  My desire is for this to be a day of connection and community, and for women to open their minds to the plan that God has for their family.     

The event will include a luncheon and a dessert, and at the end we will be raffling off a cash prize to help someone grow their family.

Tickets are on sale for $30 through the 25th of January.  {After that the price goes up to $40, so don't delay!}  Please visit the website for all the details on the location and schedule, bios on each speaker, and to register for the event. 

If you aren't experiencing infertility, statistics say that someone you know is.  Please pass this website on to your friends or family that could use some support. 

Thanks for reading my story.
XOXO,
Emmy

Spread a Little JOY

Happy Monday everyone! Or happy first day back to school after Christmas break! I'm actually not that happy about it. I know for some, getting the kids back in school is a stress reliever, but for me it is stressful to get back in the routine of getting up early, getting homework done, and getting everyone to bed on time...only to start again. This break I have been especially mindful of hugging my kids a little tighter and cuddling on the couch a little longer. So today marks the end of our lazy pajama days and I'm a little sad.

This weekend I got to thinking about how to make January something to look forward to instead of dread. So it isn't just about getting back on a schedule, trying to keep resolutions and make it to the gym (or not eat milk duds). How do I make the feeling of Christmas last through January and beyond? You know, that feeling you get when the lights are still up on the tree and you've watched all your loved ones open special gifts picked out just for them. Joy. I want to drag Joy with me into this new year! I already shared how I need to work on my spiritual growth. I think one of the best ways to do that is by giving back. Serving in some way, big or small. I think a perfect way to keep Joy in your heart all year long is by spreading it around!

My oldest son's Lion's Heart group (a community service organization) met this weekend and talked about ways they could serve. It just so happens that one of the boys in the group is a younger brother to a young man that attended Sandy Hook Elementary when he was in Kindergarten (years ago). He and his family have been collecting donations to send back to Newtown so friends of theirs from Sandy Hook can use the money for the best good. One of the ideas brought up in the meeting was to help him collect donations for Newtown and show them, in that small way, that we are with them, sharing in their grief, and wanting to show support. A simple idea that will hopefully bless those whose suffering surpasses my understanding.

A friend of mine Molly, (you can see Molly's blog and learn more about her fabulous prayer journals here) has come up with a wonderful idea called "Blessing Bags". She and her family took much of their winter break to collect donations and items to fill large plastic bags. The bags will be filled with blankets, non-perishable food items, water bottles, and Bibles. The idea is to have them in the back of your car so that if you see someone in need, you have something to hand them that will immediately help. You can find out more information about Project Blessing Bags here. Simple. Spreading Joy.
Another friend of mine Emmy, is using her time and talents to give Joy to those who have struggled with infertility. She has planned an event that is SURE to spread Joy to many women and families that are wondering what little miracles 2013 will bring! She has used her experiences to reach out to others and give back. Another simple idea that will bless so many. You will be hearing more from her when she does a guest post on Friday!

What about you? We would love to hear all the ways that you plan to give back or things you have done in the past that kept the Joy flowing all year long! Leave your message to us in the comments section! We can't wait to get some more good ideas.

As for me, I'll be helping all these causes and giving my time to do whatever I can. It's not a lot, but it's a start and that's the first step. As for today, I'll kiss my kids when they get home, make a snack before homework starts, and ease into our "back to school" routine. Keeping it simple and spreading a little Joy, that's what it's all about.

{H}